2023 RESOLUTIONS REVIEW

* Average 1 road trip per month:  A+.  We made 15 road trips in 2023. In fact, on our trip to Europe, we spent time in both Greece & Turkey, so I think we made 16.

* Lose 5 lbs:  D. I broke even Since I could have gained weight, I'm giving myself a passing grade.

* Add to our National Park list.  A.  We visited Biscayne NP in FEB.

* Avoid desserts.  B.

* Do my PT exercises and/or walk at least 4X per week. C. 

* Publish my "Buzzwords" devotion book. D. I was already behind when I wasn't able, for reasons unknown to me, open my file on our laptop. So, I had to start over by reloading devotions from my zip drive onto a new Word file, then do one last edit.

* Write a "Chapter & Verse" devotion book. A. I finished writing it. What comes next? Load it onto a zip drive, then load it onto our laptop, then have my editor review it.

FINAL GPA:  B-.  I've had better years.

2O24 ANNOTATED RESOLUTIONS

> Lose weight.  I've decided not to list a specific #. Call me a chicken.

> Limit myself to no more than 2 cups of coffee per day. This may help me sleep better & lessen my anxiety.

> Visit at least 1 National Park and/or National Monument. We're headed to MT for a wedding on AUG 1. I'm hopeful that we can detour to at least one NM & maybe one or more NPs.

> Limit my reading to 1 conservative source per day. Not because I don't trust them. Because I think this will help lessen my anxiety.

> Avoid picking fights on Facebook. This doesn't preclude me from responding to inane posts. Once I respond, I want to avoid pointless arguments.

> Walk at least 4 times per week. We're tentatively booked to visit the Holy Land later this year. Could be iffy. If this trip falls through, Lois already has a river cruise in mind. Either trip will require a lot of walking.

> Finish writing & publishing one devotion book. This year I can't dawdle.

ROAD TRIP REDUX

Our final road trip in 2023 was a visit to Ft. Walton Beach, FL, where we spent time Lois' little sister Anita, our brother-in-law Jerry, plus we got to see our niece Lia. LOWLIGHTS:  We tried in vain to spot a Hawaii license plate, the last one we needed for the year. We also endured humiliating losses by the KC Chiefs & Dallas Cowboys. HIGHLIGHTS:  Uneventful flights from Omaha to FL & back; Christmas Eve worship at Jerry & Anita's church; a trip to the beach; a visit to Buc-cee's in Foley, AL, & also our first visit to that state; a plethora of tasty food; watching two special Christmas shows:  Elf & A Claymation Christmas Special; an opportunity to critique a Hallmark Christmas movie. [Jerry & I provided an insightful commentary while we watched.] 

THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE NEBRASKA *

* Courtesy of the Norfolk Daily News, 12/30/23

"In April, Safewise issued a report naming Norfolk as the state's 2nd safest city within which to live, Based on data from the FBI's crime database, the report touted Norfolk's low crime rate & first responder response times due in large part to the city's police & fire divisions."

TRENDING NEWS FROM THE BABYLON BEE

"'You know, these fine citizens may really have a point & I'd like to learn more about their cause,' thinks driver blocked by protesters for 3 hours."

"Nation's white liberals wish each other Happy Kwanzaa."

"Experts attribute falling public school literacy to not enough drag queen story hours."

"Sad:  Man unable to brush teeth after failing to pay monthly subscription on smart toothbrush."

DEPT OF SHAMELESS JOKE-STEALING

* Courtesy of Reader's Digest, Sept. 2022

"A telephone rang. 'Hello! Is your phone number 444-444-4444?' 'Yes, it is,' came the reply. 'Great! Could you call 911 for me? I superglued my finger to the phone.'"

"I was playing chess with a friend & he said, 'Let's make this interesting.' So we stopped playing chess."

"Revenge is a dish best served anytime."

* I know it sounds mean, but when I'm mad at my wife & want to lash out, I open a bottle of some condiment when there's already one open.

* Instead of telling my husband that I'm annoyed at him, I'm just gonna put strawberries in a salad.

* My wife ate the last donut this morning, so I went in her car & readjusted the driver's seat & mirrors.

TODAY'S AWESOME TRIVIA *

* Courtesy of Uncle John's Awesome 35th Anniversary Bathroom Reader

"In 2015, Japan made Godzilla an honorary citizen & tourism ambassador."