ROAD TRIP ROUND-UP

Our return trip from Wichita Falls, TX on OCT 31 was uneventful. HIGHLIGHTS:  (1) Spending time with Lois' little brother David & Carmen, his wife & also my 1st cousin. (2) Spending time with Lois' little sister Anita & our brother-in-law Jerry. (3) Getting to see Katie, our niece, & Seth, her significant other. (4) Watching the Rangers win games 1 & 3 of the World Series. (5) Watching the last 5 minutes of the Cornhusker's victory over Purdue. (6) Feasting at my favorite Chinese buffet in TX. (7) Receiving an early Christmas present from David & Carmen:  a bushel of hotel soap, shampoo, & conditioner. LOWLIGHTS:  (1) Watching the 4th quarter of the Chiefs' miserable loss to Denver. (2) Watching the Rangers get blown-away by the D-Backs in game 2 of the World Series. Thankfully they won games 4 & 5 to triumph in the World Series. (3) The horrid weather. It was colder in WF on SAT than it was in Norfolk & the Twin Cities, where our son Nathan & his family live. 

2023 RESOLUTIONS REVIEW

> Average 1 road trip/month:  A. After our trip to TX at the end of OCT, we've completed 12, with remaining trips planned for Lincoln later this month & FL in DEC. 

> Lose 5 lbs:  C+. Due to a weight gain over the past few months, I've really slipped, & that's all you need to know.

> Add to our National Park list:  A. We visited Biscayne NP in FL in FEB.

> Avoid desserts:  B.

> Do my PT exercises & walk at least 4X/week:  C-. I walked a lot in preparation for & during our trip to Greece & Turkey, then regressed, then started walking again this week.

> Publish my "Buzzwords" devotion book." C-. I stalled at doing the final proof, so it looks pretty certain that this won't happen.

> Write my "Chapter & Verse" devotion book.  B. Finished, but I still need to proof it.

> GPA:  B-.  I really need to step it up in NOV & DEC.

WEATHER

Norfolk received 4" of rain while we were in TX. Downpours are the result of global climate change. No, wait . . . Droughts are the result of global climate change. No, wait . . . The devastating fire in Maui was the result of global climate change. No, wait . . . The devastating fire in Maui was caused by human error. Ahhhhh!

CRIMINAL MINDS

"Man is accused of biting police dog . . . The police dog did not require medical attention." Omaha World Herald, 3/3

WORLD SERIES

"God rewards only team that doesn't have a Pride Night with World Series win." Babylon Bee

TRENDING NEWS FROM THE BABYLON BEE *

* Your trusted source of fake news

> Dad sadly informs kids a robber broke into their home & stole their Reese's Cups.

> Terrifying haunted house where they rip humans limb from limb actually just a Planned Parenthood.

> Weird:  Halloween over but Colin Kaepernick still pretending to be a FB player.

> Palestinian protester tries to argue with skinhead but they just agree on everything"

THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE FLORIDA 

"One-of-a-kind FL Man Games include evading arrest obstacle course, beer belly FL sumo, Weaponized pool noodle mud duel, Category 5 cash grab." Fox News Online

WAYS TO SCARE OFF CALIFORNIANS LOOKING TO MOVE INTO YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD *

* Brought to you by the Babylon Bee

> Offer them sweet tea.

> Show off a cool gun you're packing.

> Invite them to your church this Sunday.

> Show them your house & the several acres you live on.

> Point out how many houses in town have American flags.

> Show off your Trump 2020 & 2024 bumper stickers.

BACON

"Kevin Bacon, a missing PA pig, returns home after actor Kevin Bacon's public plea." FNO

POLITICAL POTPOURRI

"Bidenomics:  More people handing out IOUs to trick or treaters." Babylon Bee

ARE YOU AS GOOD AS YOUR WORD?

"In a survey of nearly 2,000 Americans, 58% of respondents admitted that they've used a word to try to sound smarter--despite not knowing what it meant." Reader's Digest, Sep 2022 That's barbaric, heinous, diabolical, grody, nefarious, atrocious!

TODAY'S TRIVIA

"All members of the British royal family are descendants of Vlad the Impaler, the 15th-century Romanian despot who was the inspiration for Bram Stoker's Dracula." Uncle John's Awesome 35th Anniversary Bathroom Reader