Sucktitude + Dad Orders Pizza + Mueller + Emotional Support Dog

Us vs Them

The left looks at the right and sees small things that seem big to them, and vice versa. Social media and the general suckitude of the times we live in make it even worse, because each side picks the dumbest, ugliest, or most extreme examples of “them” and says, “See, this is what they’re really like!” It’s an industry now.  --Jonah Goldberg, 7/27

Dept. of Shameless Joke-Stealing *

* courtesy of Reader's Digest, June 2019

• "I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!
• "I told you I'll be there in five minutes. Stop calling me every half hour!
• "A few weeks ago, my dad decided he was going to order pizza from his iPad. He's almost finished."

Trending *

* courtesy of The Babylon Bee 

• "Mueller reminds Congress report doesn't exonerate Trump from assassination of President Lincoln
• "Report:  More unborn babies in New York identifying as convicted criminals so they can't legally be executed
• "'I'm still sharp as a tack,' insists Mueller moments before taking phone call on a banana"

Monday Whimsey *

* courtesy of The Drudge Report

• "Emotional support dog bites flight attendant (7/25)
• "More older couples stay together--because they live apart" (7/29)