There Is No Place Like Nebraska

A Lutheran bias? Ninja girlfriends? Black vultures? Giant pumpkins?

Good Ol' Martin Luther

The Norfolk Circuit Reformation service last SUN 11/5 was a mountain-top experience. Keep that in mind as you read the following excerpt.

From Omaha World Herald (11/1):  "Germany marks 500th anniversary of Reformation. German leaders on TUE marked the 500th anniversary since the day Martin Luther is said to have nailed his theses challenging the Catholic Church to a church door, a starting point of the Reformation. German Chancellor Angela Merkel & President Frank Walter Steinmeier took part in a service in the famous Castle Church in Wittenberg, where Luther supposedly posted his 95 theses on 10/31/17 . . . Roman Catholics & some Lutherans have been taking deliberate steps toward ecumenism for 50 years. They are trying to restore the unity that was lost when Luther started the split from the Catholic Church in 1517."  MY COMMENT:  Is said to have nailed? Supposedly posted? I suppose the Allies supposedly won World War II. And it was Luther's fault that unity was lost when he started the split from the Catholic Church? I'll jump on THAT bandwagon. "He tore the world to pieces with his five-and-ninety theses. Good Ol' Martin Luther, he's our man. I'm so glad that I'm a Lu-ther-AN."

Criminal Minds

OWH (11/7):  "Woman is accused of running after boyfriend with sword . . . Police said the woman admitted to punching her boyfriend in the face & then chasing him with the sword. But she told officers that she wouldn't have harmed him . . . "   MY COMMENT: You don't pull the mask off the ol' lone ranger, & you don't mess around with GIRLFRIENDS CHASING YOU WITH A SWORD!

Go Big Red!

OWH (10/22): "Leaving Duck Dynasty. 'I guess I'm at a point in my life where I'd rather step in it than put up with it. The classic Moos quote, given to Oregonian columnist John Canzano in a 2007 podcast, explained why he decided to leave a burgeoning Duck dynasty to raise cattle on a ranch. Basically, ensuing reports indicated, it's hard running an athletic department when you disagree with the leading mega-donor on various strategic decisions. So with that, Moos stepped away to work on another dream:  Special K Ranch . . . "  MY COMMENT:  Do I really have to explain that we're talking about Bill Moos, the newly hired A.D. of the Cornhuskers? Apparently for some of you, I do.

From 'Breaking Brad' by Brad Dickson in OWH (10/24):  "How powerful is the position of athletic director in Nebraska? Gov. Pete Ricketts is looking forward to meeting his new boss." MY COMMENT:  Not everyone in Nebraska will think this is funny. Most will read this & say, "So?"

Flora & Fauna

OWH (10/31):  "Black vulture flies north for Halloween. A creature that's dark as night & rare in Nebraska has landed here just in time for Halloween. A black vulture was found alive in a backyard in Lincoln earlier this month.It's the first documented case of a black vulture in Nebraska since 1916 . . . " MY COMMENT:  P.E.T.B.V. * has already threatened to sue if this black vulture is not loaded onto a climate-controlled, luxury vulture-bago(?) & carted back to wherever it is that black vultures come from. * People for the Ethical Treatment of Black Vultures

OWH (11/1):  "Gardening experiment nets 680-lb pumpkin . . . Carl Fleming Jr. isn't a gardener, but this year he & his family harvested a pumpkin weighing 680 lbs. Fleming, a welder at Lozier, & his 8-yr-old son, Bubba, planted 3 seeds in the backyard of their La Vista home the 2nd week of May . . . The Fleming family watered the plant every day & watched the vines grow throughout the summer & fall. The kids grew so fond of the pumpkin, they named it 'Blimpy.' The pumpkin grew to 680.5 lbs . . . " MY COMMENT: Take that, Iowanians! We may not be able to beat you in football, but we MORE than beat you in growing giant pumpkins. And in sword-wielding ninja girlfriends.